This is just observational commentary on life’s many peculiarities by the author. I have never read a single self-help book, I cannot tell you how to lose 60 pounds, how to save your money, or how to never fail a date again. Shit, I cannot even tell you how to pay your bills on time. But if life is going to be weird and unfair, the least we can do is laugh about it.

If life is like a box of chocolates, most of us got the bland, off-brand stuff that expires tomorrow. It does not have to be like that. There are so many things you can do, to make a better life for yourself! Like taking up a new hobby, or changing your diet, finding new friends, maybe going on an adventure. Unfortunately, I have no fucking clue how to make your life anything else than a complete, utter mess. So, now that we have established that life is shit, and we can do absolutely nothing about it, let us get started.

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